social distancing: week two

day one - saturday

it’s saturday. but other not having to log onto work it hardly feels like one. our normal activities have been postponed until further notice. we can’t eat out. we can’t hang with our friends. and a lot more cant’s. last week it felt like a novelty. this week i feel trapped. this isn’t the saturday i’m used to. i’m kind of panicking. the unease starts to feel gross. i need to sweat. so i put on my nike’s and run. the sun is finally shining. i wear shorts. i smile and squint the entire way. no air pods. just the music of a world that has come to a sudden stop. it feels strange. but also good. i feel strong.

i am very happy i never stopped running.

i can always run away from my problems. or at the very least calm them the f down. the sedative that is cardio takes effect. i return home a normal person. no panic attacks. no mental spiral. i can focus on what matters. my nails. just kidding don’t even ask me about my nails.

despite starting on a weird note the day got so much better! especially thanks to these adorable little drawings by knox! the quarantine has had an opposite impact on him. it’s let him be free to create. every morning he draws me a picture and tapes it the wall and i feel so lucky and loved. also how long do i leave this up?

on this weird as hell saturday i finally thought well wouldn’t some of our friends like their very own drawing-by-knox? i asked if he would take requests from friends and let me post the drawings on instagram. he agreed. the requests came and i saw what is was like to see a five year old respond to the pressure. overall it’s a fun game and feels like we are doing our part to bring some joy out of this.

day two - sunday

another mental run.

later we tackle the garage. we have time for this kind of thing now. the mess doesn’t drive me nuts because we have all day. literally all day because where are we even going? nowhere. it’s kind of nice not to have to be anywhere.

i make us lunch as we go down the memory lane of forgotten old photos, beach toys, and just STUFF. the sun is shining bright again. we’re really happy.

the buzz from our garage brunch eventually wore off and i started to yell at josh that we had to go somewhere. had to get out. we had to do something. because i’m so not used to not doing something.

and then it rained.

the universe and i can agree on one thing: we are all over the damn place.

i wouldn’t shut up and josh just knows better when i get like this. so we went to griffith park to take a hike and feel engulfed in nature whilst a mere few miles from home. tricking our minds. we’re happy we got out. we’re not stuck. we’re free. we’re happy. we’re also wet. but it’s really beautiful.

it felt like two days in one. it felt off and yet that was appropriate.

weird times.

day three - monday

monday again. monday’s still feel like monday’s and weekends still go way too fast. i wake up before i need to. move the body before i’m chained to a desk chair. the irony of this does not escape me. knox wakes up and follows me to “work.” today he draws a pterodactyl for our friend lilah. i decide to collect all of his work and make him a quarantine album when it’s all over.

midday we receive maxwell’s progress report. so much improvement from his last! we celebrate with burgers and shakes. it feels indulgent to eat out. it lifts our spirits. not bad for a new normal monday.

day four - tuesday

what day is it? does it matter?

as you may have noticed i’ve started adding the days of the week to the day count. it’s easy to lose track these days.

we’re not sure we like this routine. knox isn’t sure he likes me working when we could be drawing pictures. it’s hard to balance working at home, which sometimes means distancing myself from my family. during a break i ask knox if he’ll draw his version of the 1981 french open poster by eduardo arroyo. he nails it and it makes my day.

day five - wednesday

like last wednesday a lot of crap happened. but all i want to remember is the trip to the beach we took this afternoon.

day six - thursday

not feeling it today. i miss things i took for granted. i miss my old routine. i miss making plans. i start debating bangs again.

this is dangerous.

turns out homeschooling kids is quite the distraction. we do art math outside. what is art math even? who really knows or cares. the boys are into it and i’m glad. no not glad RELIEVED because lord do i need a break. they go off into their own little world and i chide myself for getting so worked up. this too shall pass. right? until then i make mental a quarantine bucket list as follows:

beach on a weekday - check!

sunset on the beach

master dance cardio workouts - because this is who i am now

run 8 miles - because this is who i’ve always been

not lose my mind - worth a shot

bake zucchini muffins once I can find zucchinis. SIGN OF THE THYMES harharhar.

day seven - friday

made it to friday! look at how happy we look. we are at one of our favorite places in the world, the silver lake meadow. we bring snacks and champagne, a football and a blanket for happy hour on the grass. i almost pass out basking in the sun. oh glory hallelujah.

feels almost normal and i’ll take it.

then we get word the city has now closed all beaches and hiking trails. so yeah. glad we made i to the beach and a few hikes before THAT went down. time to start getting really creative at the homestead. until next week, keep calm and wash your hands. we also recommend bubblebaths.