a christmas throwback

me + max during his first trip to the beach on new year's day... an odd time for a first trip but his mind was blown to little pieces all the same. meanwhile, my mind was still reeling from the news that i had an 18-week old baby in my belly.

wanna hear that story? GREAT. i took the test the day after christmas. really just to assure myself that i was NOT pregnant. it showed up as positive before i had time to kill for the results. i took another. and another. dude it was a three pack.

SAME.

no. way.

i just had a baby and now i was making another one?

this obviously was not the plan. and planning is my thing. max was sooo planned. but this. knocked up. wow. here we go again. i tried to chill and take in the two little lines staring back at me from that plastic window. i couldn't peel my eyes from them (like an idiot i took a picture, which weeks later i finally deleted. stupid pinterest). the symbol of a new somebody coming into our lives and changing it forever. and ever.

omg i will never sleep in again, i thought. i panicked. i really like sleep.

and then, of course, i got really happy. i cried. i was going to have another baby. a squishy little monkey to love and to hold, to protect and take care of. i would get to experience everything i did with max over again. the fear, the excitement, the name? all the firsts. the everything. again.

in short? BEST CHRISTMAS SURPRISE. EVER.

merry almost christmas you guys!

and just to be clear hell no i'm not pregnant. the only surprise i have awaiting me this year is what's in that huge box under the tree with my name on it!

and i'm out!

PS: oh yeah, the first trip to the beach went great!