life right now — hello sunshine

life right now is all about jumping, both literally and figuratively.

the literal being i have two toddler boys with a tremendous amount of energy who find jumping to be a great use of it. i can't really argue with that. so any boulder, flight of stairs or my couch is game for leaping off of. and i am right there with them. because they still want to do everything with their mama. and you'd think max was training for the olympics he takes his dismount all kinds of serious. if he doesn't stick his landing he will perform the exact same jump until he does. and then we all clap. knox is still a bit cautious, so his jump is more of an army crawl down, or a plea for help. he lands however he lands and then we all clap. including knox. he loves to give himself props, that one.

the figurative has been a lot less fun. lately i feel that a considerable chunk of my time is spent jumping through hoops to make other people happy. and i'm starting to realize that perhaps i am allocating a bit too much energy on such a fruitless activity. yea no, i definitely am. i will never be able to make everyone happy. but for the majority of my life i tried. i chose to live uncomfortably to avoid confrontation. but i'm over it. my time is too precious to waste. i am slowly but surely coming to terms with what is reasonable and what is just enough. enough to where i feel i am doing right by someone, the same i'd want in return. and if that's not enough, then i just have to learn to be ok with that.

this is all easier said than done. but you know what helps? watching my two boys... with their boundless energy jump and play like everyone and no one is watching. loving you but at the same time acting freely, without over thinking EVERYTHING.

PS - obviously, something specific is going down but i am learning to jump may way through it.